Lets Make Love (And Listen To Death From Above)
by ArtificialAorta
Summary: Johnny is about 85% sure he just got negged by Darcy.


**Summary**: Johnny Storm is 85% sure he just got negged by Darcy Lewis.  
**Rating**: All  
**Pairings/ Charcters:** Darcy Lewis/ Johnny Storm; Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, mention of Clint Barton and Phil Coulson  
**A/N**: This is my Halloween fic. It's like 3 months too late but what of it? Also, this is what I wrote instead of finishing Stark Family Traditions. I'm sorry.  
**A/N2:** Check out Tarafina's Johnny and Darcy fics if you haven't already. They're amazing and what made me fall in love with this pairing in the first place. Hope this lives up to the epicness.  
**Song**: song mentioned and in title is Lets Make Love And Listen To Death From Above by CSS  
**Negging**: For those of you fortunate enough to not know, to neg is to insult a woman in order to get her to want your approval so she has sex with you. It's a 'technique' of pick up artists. Is Darcy negging Johnny or just trying to deflate his ego on behalf of the city? Who knows...

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Halloween was Johnny Storm's favourite holiday. A night where women dressed as the slutty version of everything and got drunk- what wasn't there to love? Even if he succeeded in getting his birthday approved as a national holiday (a _lot_ more paper work than he'd expected), Johnny was pretty sure that Halloween would still rank at number one.

What was the best thing about this particular Halloween? The fact that Fantastic Four had been invited to Tony Stark's Halloween extravaganza. The hottest of the hot wearing the tiniest of the tiny. Johnny was practically in heaven. Only practically because he couldn't bring all of these lovely ladies home and it was hard to pick. He was determined to try to make the more acrobatic part of the night themed. Right now, he was deciding between angels and naughty, naughty devils or the women who'd dress up as skimpily dressed versions of himself. To be honest, his narcissism was sort of winning.

In the middle of some pretty hard decision-making, Johnny caught sight of Natasha Romanoff, AKA The Black Widow at the buffet table and he had to say hello. While Johnny loved to flirt with Tasha, he knew he was doing it at the risk of his own health. He liked dangerous women and bringing Tasha back home was a pretty hot fantasy of his but he was pretty sure if he ever got her near a bed, she'd take her code name to heart and actually kill him. Even if she didn't, Hawkeye would probably torture him. With so many other willing women in New York, Johnny decided it was best to look and not touch.

"Hey there Tasha," Johnny slid over and gave her his best winning smile. Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"Hello Storm. Nice costume," Natasha said without emotion, taking a moment to look at his James Dean costume. A bit cliché maybe but the ladies loved the classic Rebel Without A Cause look and he rocked the jeans, white shirt and red jacket combo.

"Right back at ya," winked Johnny, looking at Natasha's sleek tuxedo and top hat. "You are...a well dressed penguin?"

"Marlene Dietrich," Natasha supplied, putting a long cigarette holder to her lips and pouting around it. He could literally feel his IQ dropping. Swallowing heavily, Johnny decided he'd risk possible death.

"You know, for the most covered up woman at the party, you certainly are the sexiest."

"Well I don't think I'm the _most_ covered up," said Natasha, her smirk suddenly becoming a laugh as she looked at something behind Johnny. He was about to turn around when there was a strange sounding voice behind him.

"Hello, I am a dinosaur." Turning around, Johnny found himself staring at a girl in an oversized, dark green dinosaur costume. It looked like kiddie pajamas but for an adult, with large buttons up the lime green belly front and the angry looking dinosaur head hood angled atop the girls' head. He could see scales from the head down her back, tail of the outfit leading down to a pair of ratty black sneakers with gold studs. The girl, whose brown curly hair spilled out from under her dinosaur hood, had red lipstick and golden bone earrings. She was...completely adorable and Johnny hoped he wasn't smiling like a fool.

"My god Darcy, you actually wore it," Natsha smiled.

"You should see Clint's. He bought himself a unicorn one. It's got tiny blue wings. I think he's been annoying Coulson," Darcy stood on her tiptoes and looked around the room.

"He's...definitely one of a kind," Natasha said slowly. "I don't think you two should be allowed near the Internet alone anymore."

"What? Come on, Grumpy Clint got almost as many hits as Grumpy Cat!"

"My point exactly," Natasha crossed her arms in mock sternness and Johnny was completely thrown at how playful she was being. She was never playful with him. She was always either mildly annoyed or very annoyed when he talked to her. "I'm cutting the both of you off."

"Fine, but we'll find other ways to cause mayhem," warned Darcy, taking a sip from a semi-clear green drink that had a small dinosaur toy floating in the tall glass.

"Better slow down. You'll end up crawling on all fours, roaring at people again."

"I did that completely sober," pointed out Darcy, not a hint of remorse. Johnny liked this girl more and more. "Besides, I need some liquid courage. Tony and I are singing Halo once the karaoke starts. It's gonna be epic."

"I've heard the both of you sing. That's not the word I'd use."

"Ahem," Johnny interrupted, unhappy at the fact that two attractive women were completely ignoring him.

"Oh, Darcy, this is Johnny Storm," introduced Natasha, going back to plain annoyed.

"Darcy Lewis. Scientist wrangler extraordinaire and occasional Internet sensation," she held out a hand and Johnny shook it. Giving her his sexiest smile, Johnny started to introduce himself with his own extravagant titles but Darcy cut him to it. "You're flame throwing boy right? Of the Fantastic Four? Word is you're a big ol' flamer. That's true?"

"Uh, if you mean I throw fire at the bad guys than yeah. If you're talking about me getting it on with dudes then that's a big no. I'm a breast man," Johnny tried not to stumble. He'd heard that joke once or twice but never from a girl he was trying to impress. It threw him off a bit that she seemed completely immune to his charms.

"Some guys have moobs," Darcy shrugged, waiting innocently for his answer.

"Yeah but they still have dicks. So, ugh, no thanks."

"Whatevs. What's with your costume? It's lame."

"Huh? James Dean is not lame."

"He isn't but every acne prone high school boy desperate to look cool and get laid has done the Rebel Without A Cause thing," explained Darcy, taking an amused sip from her drink and waving her hand in his general direction. It made Johnny's ego prickle dangerously.

"What about your costume?"

"What about it? Other than how amazing it is?" Just as Johnny was trying to think of something to insult her with, the DJ spoke up.

"This is dedicated to the little dinosaur that stole my heart. This one's for you Darcy baby." They looked over to see the DJ placing a soft hand over his heart before kissing his fingers and pointing over towards Darcy. "Let's make love and listen to Death From Above later."

Absolute delight lit Darcy's face. She wrinkled her nose as she smiled cutely and stuck out her tongue a little between her teeth. With the insults she'd just thrown at him, Johnny really couldn't explain why he had the urge to be the one to make her smile like that. Not some DJ who was just playing indie electro music. When Johnny blinked, he found that he was alone. Darcy had gone to dance and Natasha had just disappeared. Picking up his wounded pride, he decided that there was more than enough women here who would help pump it back up. But even as he was in the middle of three women grinding up against him, Johnny still looked back at Darcy laughing on the dance floor, trying to outdo Tony Stark in ridiculous disco moves. When Darcy and Tony hit their second round of head banging at the heavier bridges of the song, Johnny decided that he wasn't a quitter. By the end of the night, he'd at least get her number (or blog or whatever it was that got her internet famous) and be one step closer to seeing what she hid under that dinosaur costume.

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**End Notes:** if you want to see Darcy's costume and what I like to imagine is the type of stuff she does on slow nights at the Avengers Tower, go to youtube and search for Lily Allen in a dino outfit. If you just want to see Darcy and Clint's costumes, go to etsy and look for kigurumi pyjamas.


End file.
